Get Bent: The Official 2012 Prediction:
Holy Shit!!! The sky is falling…or it will be in slightly more than 3 years!! There is a ridiculous amount of hoopla surrounding the demise of Mother Earth on December 21, 2012. The hype is only gonna keep growing while the media continues to feed off of this frenzy until that fateful day when something either happens or does not. So many questions to ask: Will just our planet perish? Or will time itself come to an end as our universe instantaneously collapses? Will something GOOD happen instead? Or as certain Christians ask: will God vaporize all of the righteous people in an effort to bring them all to Heaven while damning all of us normal people to an eternity of unimaginable pain and incomprehensible torture for all of the sins that we have committed.
Ever kill a mosquito and then forget to pray for your forgiveness? Guess what, Asshole- You’re going to HELL in 2012!!
Of course, the vaporizing of the sinfree, or low-sin as it may be (a process commonly referred to as * the “Rapture”) is among the lesser plausible of outcomes for December 21st 2012. I think there is a far greater chance that NOTHING will happen that day. However, that is not my prediction. I want to go on record on this October 21st 2009 with my prediction…
So to preface: back in ancient times, the Mayans came up with this tricked- out calendar that is basically a cycle of epic proportions!! I won’t get into explaining the numbers and the years that compose this cycle (mostly because I can’t). All I know is that they invented this wildly intricate calendar that has accurately predicted every solar eclipse for over 2.000 years (so we’re told) and then they disappear!>?! Let me repeat: They drop this epically confusing calendar on all of Mankind’s doorstep, and then they up and vanish? Where did they all go? And where are the aliens you ask? Oh, you didn’t ask. Let me explain; THAT is where the Mayans went, up with the aliens. The Mayans very well could have been abducted by aliens. I am not insane!! (Or should I say that I am insane, because by admitting that I am insane I am instantly rendered perfectly NOT insane because crazies do not believe that they are crazy) John Wozniak’s prediction for December 21, 2012 is that the Aliens will bring the Mayans back to Earth for a jacked-up reunion. Sounds weird, right? Well, I’m not claiming to be Nostradamus.
(this may or may not be what I really think)
WOZ
*certain Christian denominations have even gone on record that the Rapture will be on May 21st 2011 and then the world will end the following October 21st. (They’re one upping the Mayans by more than a year!!)
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Posted on October 21st 2009 in Uncategorized
