Get Bent

Rule Bending Masters

(check our WEEKLY LOOPHOLES)

Okay-  So I have taken a break from my role as this self proclaimed master of bending rules.   I have been up to my adam’s apple in side projects.  Get Bent was on the back burner for a little.  I have good good news and bad news- Bad news first:  I was trying to edit episode 6 and some parts were the most hilarious stuff we have done, but it was WAYYY long so I had to cut short some of the comedy.  The Good news:  4 new videos are in the works!!  NOW there is enough hilarity and fuck ups to put out Episodes  6,  7,  and episode  7.5!! All of this as well as a volume 2 of outtakes!!  If you haven’t yet seen the first one check it out (we recommend you view it in HQ on youtube).    So to paraphrase, the bad news is that Episode 6 will not be the wall-to-wall blast of comedy that I had originally, but it has turned into 2 unforeseen videos for the grand total of 4 pretty solid brand-new installments from everyone’s favorite rule bending, slogan twisting duo.  (also a few new Nuck Chorris facts have been added)

(that ITunes link will take you to an album that will blow your mind- [also available on Amazon])

(if you like to drink Kool Aid, try Get Bent’s special Mayan-flavored)

We are here to change the world!! 

…Not for the better, though.  According to what we have set out to do, part of our mission statement is to “…make institutions reword their literature to grammatically suit their various causes.”   If we were to fully accomplish that the world would be a WORSE place!!  Everything would be precisely dictated, regimented and totally void of humor.  Thank God people have not taken us too seriously…with the exception of 1 place!!! (my camera is getting repaired - I will get a video when I get it back) In Episode 5 we informed a gas station attendant that their sign advertises the gift of a free vacuum with a car wash if interpreted according to the rules of the English language.  Surely they didn’t mean an individual vacuum cleaner for every patron who pays the $12 for a shitty wash on their car, but how are we supposed to know?  In doing a drive by of the place this weekend, I noticed that they took the signs down.  They used to have signs all over their establishment and now they don’t have one.  They still have the deal, but no sign.  Hopefully they are making new signs.  I’d hate to think that I scared them so much that they have given up on signage altogether!   I believe in the episode, that in subtext it stated “He just GOT BENT…sort of”  Well, scratch the “SORT OF” cuz we bent their asses over the coals and forced them to DEconstruct and REconstruct!!! 

You KNOW this!!!!

Okay, if you’re here you obviously crave more funny videos brought to you by the hilarious Get Bent Crew!  It’s understandable.  You’re not alone…entirely.   My camera is in the shop!!!  I bought the 4 year service plan at Best Buy and so since a head cleaner (video head cleaner hahaha- nice try) didn’t clean the heads in my camera, I had to surrender it to the Geek Squad at BEST BUY where they boast a 4-week turnaround time.  That’s a Sonofabitch if I ever heard one.  So episode 6 and 6.Sixx probably won’t be ready by Christmas. There is enough footage amassed for a shitty episode 6 but I strive for constant improvement so I am going to wait until I get some more quality stuff shot.  Once I get my camera back I will need just 1 more production day and I will guarantee a quality sixth episode.  Hopefully I can give you at least THAT by Christmas.

In Other News

You may have noticed a new name on the Bios Page.  Rob Bush, who has aided in the production of some of the unusable stuff that I referred to before (…shitty episode 6) but that was not his fault.  Sound quality mixed with poor performance on my part equals something that may/maynot even make the next batch of outtakes.  So why is he listed?  Because, he is the former DJ Lopaka of JACKMOVE.  Also we have buried the hatchet on some dumb shit that got in our way for over 4 years and have started making a musical comeback.  DEAD WRONG is 2 songs down (Actually 1.5) on our album we’re currently working.  It is just the 2 of us, and it is somewhere between Rap and Rock but unlike Limp Biscuit it will be fucking awesome!!  I realize how lame I just made my group sound so you’re gonna just have to trust me.  It is too soon to say when the album will be complete, but once we get these first 4 songs done we will get a page going where you can hear our shit. 

Stand By

WOZ  

Hello

I am writing to explain a few things.  First off John’s Sister has recently gotten married so GET BENT would like to congratulate Jeff and (now) Jill Cox. 

 Okay, with regards to the craziness that I promised in previous blogs (I stated that episode 5 will be “INSANE” I think was the word I used)  Those ideas are still there, but they will have to be pushed off for a few episodes.   Availabiity has recently become an issue;  In addition to his job, Simon has to watch his 3 kids PLUS 4 of his Sister in Law’s kids, so his time is fucking bought like a G-Thang.  If he’s not wiping one kid’s ass, he’s feeding another (hopefully he doesn’t get it mixed up and wipe his kid’s ass with baby food and feed his nephew a spoonful of shit)    Anyway, back to my point,  the “Insanity” requires 2 people.  I have shot a few other things and started editing the other stuff for the “previously unintended” episode 5.  It will not contain the pulse-pounding craziness that I had planned it to, but this unintended stuff is still funny- trust me.  I will be starring in it by myself which kinda sucks because I hate being the center of attention (I really do- I consider myself an idea guy), but what are you gonna do?  There is looking like there will also be an episode 5.5 where I’m gonna fuck with Burger King AGAIN.  I like doing that.  They ask for it with that “Your way” slogan.   One of the “INSANE” pieces has a religious thing to it, so I shy away from doing it for Episode 6 for the whole 666 thing. 

 Another thing that sucks- I  liked having fresh new Intro sequences for every episode, but Kyle (the guy who does that) is away at school so he can’t do those as often anymore so I gotta find another person or just recycle the old animations (or get that program).  I’ll have to figure something out.  So my apologies for the inevitable delay, if there are any questions, comments, or concerns as usual just contact me at myspace.com/getbent08

WOZ        

The views and opinions expressed on this website do not in any way reflect that of the companies whose merchandice you purchased containing our flyer.  That’s just our guerilla marketing tactic.  They have NOTHING to do with us.

Funny videos sometimes take a while to become widespread.  I am trying like Hell to get out there and fuel the fire of word-of-mouth and exposure to create more of a demand for our signature loophole siezures, and rule bending.  In looking at some web stats I noticed something that caught my attention:  In all of the state of Nebraska we have just 1 fan -LOL.  That’s one more than Alaska at least!!  The rest of the US and some other parts of the world are sprinkled here and there with people who’ve visited but there is this gaping empty square with a little dot in Omaha.  Thank You whoever you are Mr./Ms Nebraska.  You are the Get Bent Ambassador to Nebraska.  Wear that title proudly. 

Thanks for your viewing,

GET BENT

So yesterday we went out with the intentions of shooting episode 5, but the places we need for what I have in mind are all CLOSED ON SUNDAYS.  We were like WTF!!!  As you may or may not have noticed, we kinda fly by the seat(s) of our pants and our planning is not the best in the Reality TV industry (we need producers, and a corporate budget, and real equipment with a production team ready-to-go), so in an attempt to make Sunday not a complete waste of my gas money and our freetime/ production schedule, we decided to “have it our way” again - or at least try to.  We went at it just looking for a quick piece of filler to maybe throw into episode 5 or to start episode 6.  What wound up happening is we shot about 14 minutes of footage, and the series of events was so wild and funny that we wound up keeping more footage than we cut out ( a rarity for TV production) we managed to turn yesterdays misfortune into a virtual Jackpot of hilarity.  Burger King The SEQUEL is fucking hilarious!!  This was a freak, spur of the moment decision that resulted in GET BENT Episode 4.5.  It’s the same length as the rest of the episodes, its just that it’s all centered around BK so I couldn’t give it the Roman numeral V  (Call me cheesey- no pun intended) because it barely pertains to the concept of the show.   That is to say that It’s kind of a stretch on the hole loophole premise.  You will still laugh your asses off though,  Trust me!  It should be up hopefully by midnight tonight.

LATER

GB 

I am falling in the ranks on Google.  I must have done something to piss off the search engines!  Where once I was 1 out of 3.1 million and 3 out of 5.5 million I have dropped to 12 out of 5.15 mil.  Not to worry though.  I’m sure a miracle will happen.  I don’t even know how I was #1 in the first place.  It was a wild ride, I tell ya.  The women, the drugs, the money- Oh wait, I must be talking about Huey Lewis or something.  I didn’t gain anything from that ride.  I will be back on top again mark these words- MARK THEM!!!  In addition to working on episode 5, I have plans in the works to get some of my stuff on public access channels.  I want to go huge!  I am going to hopefully get it on the City of Chicago’s P.A. network as well as that of Naperville.  I have to finalize a few things with my connections and also have to slap together 2 half hour pieces.  That will be easy, I think.    

We at Get Bent will continue to push the boundaries of good taste.  More important than that is how we will also keep pushing the boundaries of poor taste.  I would like to think that if you are reading these blogs you have seen all of our videos.  If this is inaccurate information then watch the videos!!  In any case, the videos are going to keep getting funnier! 

Episode 5 is going to be INSANE!!! 

 We have it planned and will shoot the first half next Sunday.  There is a chance that more than half of this funny video will be shot on that day.  Who knows?  In regards to the selection process of what rules we choose to find loopholes for, new ideas often replace old ideas.  This means that as time between shoots and videos elapses, our original ideas and plans are never the same from one moment to the next.  It isn’t until I’m chopping up the pieces when I decide what (quickies) can go into the current episode and what can be saved for the next one.  And In regards to the “Benders,” (the confrontational bits as opposed to the “quickies”) those are the ideas from which the episodes are constructed and usually wind up going in the episodes that they were planned to go in (I ended this sentence with a preposition, I know.  I’m a hypocrite, sue me.)  Am I making sense right now?  All I wanted to say is that we got some KILLER ideas for the next few episodes!!!  we choose to find loopholes for!  You will not be disappointed.  There is a backlog of funny ideas that we will hustle to put out whenever we get the chance.  We live for bending rules, but we all work full time so scheduling is not what I wish it was.  I have devised a few marketing schemes that will generate more “buzz”  

Later

WOZ

Episode IV is completely shot and about 60% edited!!!   Editing is a breeze so the last 40% can be done in one night.  BUT…my computer totally chugs when I try to capture this last batch of footage.  In fact it has been chugging on my edited footage lately as well.  Slightly alarming to say the least.  I will be extremely pissed off if I lose my movie footage thus far.  I don’t think that is likely, but I am a total alarmist.  I think I jinxed myself by mentioning that act of God in my last post.  I think once I get together with Post-Prod Guru-boy Kyle things will iron themselves out.  But back to the episode hype; The part that I said would be the icing on the cake, came out flat and under iced.  That is to say it didn’t go over as well as it should have.  The sound quality was for shit!   I can’t wait until this show gets picked up so we can hire a damn boom-mic operator.  It is still usable footage, but as a director/producer it is kind of disappointing.  However, the rest of what we got has exceeded our expectations.  Plan on seeing the FUNNIEST episode so far!  Let the second trilogy begin…